Fathers of Children with Special Needs
When a child has special health care needs, it is often mom who handles
the child's care. However, fathers can give comfort and can help calm and soothe a
child in a way no one else can. Sometimes the father is the family member others
rely for reassurance that, no matter what, things will be okay. Fathers are often
the unsung heroes to children with special needs. Fathers give their children a gift
that no one else can give, and they can offer strong and caring support for their
child.
The Role of Fathers
A father's role in a special needs family is vital. He not only can make
the child feel safe, but he can also "hold down the fort" when mom is taking care of
the many needs of the child. Many dads take a huge role in the care of the child and
make the care part of their daily routine. Each family can share responsibility,
finding what works best for their personalities, strengths, and
schedules.
One dad says: "We have a daily to-do list for our son’s care—meds,
bathing, teaching, toileting, and more. I have my jobs, and my wife has hers,
together we get them done so we can relax at the end of the day."
Special Circumstances
Divorce
When parents are divorced, many dads stay very involved with their
children. Children with special needs are touched by divorce just as much as
other children, and having their dad's care and presence is still very
important to them.
Support for Fathers of Children with Special Needs
All fathers who care for children with special needs are amazing. One
thing to be kept in mind with these fathers is that they, just like moms, need
support. Many fathers might put on a strong front, when deep down they are unsure
and afraid, like all of us might be. Moms of kids with special needs tend to talk
about their children and join with other parents through support groups or online.
Fathers may be more reserved, but still are very involved and interested in their
child's care. Some fathers enjoy meeting or chatting with other dads with whom they
have things in common.
"It's not that I need support, but it would be nice to know there are
other guys who feel the way I do. Having a child with special needs is not something
that just comes up when you're talking with a bunch of guys unless they have that in
common," says Steve (dad of a son with autism.)
For local parent support groups, talk to your state National Center for Family - Professional Partnerships (F2F HICs).
Resources
Information & Support
For Parents and Patients
Support
National Center for Family - Professional Partnerships (F2F HICs)
Family-to-Family Health Information Centers are nonprofit, family-staffed organizations that assist families of children and
youth with special health care needs (CYSHCN). Locate state-based F2F HICs, providing support, information, resources, and
training.
Dads 4 Special Kids (D4SK)
Dads 4 Special Kids is an organization dedicated to helping men that have a child with special needs in their lives. We provide
an array of on-line resources, coupled with group activities, that include real life personal experiences from other men.